Hello my love!


Today was extremely difficult.. I have never felt so emotional so suddenly.. It is interesting.. the more time we spend together you would think we would learn how to communicate properly.. but it seems like the moment you are away I lose my mind.. I am finding it so incredibly difficult to stay so calm knowing you are so far away.. I am still so wrong in so many different way.. and in complete honesty.. I still have so much more to learn from you.. in these past five years I have learned more about myself through you and have gained so much confidence in being around you.. You may not believe me when I tell you how amazing I think you are and how much I love hearing you talk about things you have the most confidence in.. I am trying so hard to keep this letter of my love positive.. I know you are very upset with me right now.. I will stop trying to avoid all uncomfortable conversations.. I feel so distant from you right now.. and you don't know how sorry I am and how badly I wish I could take everything back.. I lost my shit today.. you don't deserve that.. you asked me to please keep calm.. I am trying.. Robert compared to you I need to work on so much.. I am not even sure you will read this.. my anxiety is already starting to build at the thought of our next conversation.. Even with all this fighting that has been going on.. I made a simple promise that I really took to heart.. Every night away from you I will send you a letter filled with love.. my heart feels hurt right now.. and I am sorry for ever hurting your feelings.. I am still learning.. it has been a very long process.. I love you.. and I will gladly admit all of my wrongs.. I hope you at least read this.. and know I really take time to try and make you feel special.. my mind is all over the place right now because of what happened earlier.. please forgive me for my wrongs.. my stubbornness gets in the way of thinking clearly.. 

Come along it is the break of day
Surely now, you'll have some things to say
It's not the time for telling tales on me

So come along, it won't be long
'Til we return happy
Shut your eyes, there are no lies
In this world we call sleep
Let's desert this day of hurt
Tomorrow we'll be free

Let's not fight I'm tired can't we just sleep tonight?
Turn away it's just there's nothing left here to say
Turn around I know we're lost but soon we'll be found

Well it's been rough but we'll be just fine
Work it out yeah we'll survive
You mustn't let a few bad times dictate

So come along, it won't be long
'Til we return happy
Shut your eyes, there are no lies
In this world we call sleep
Let's desert this day of hurt
Tomorrow we'll be free

Let's not fight I'm tired can't we just sleep tonight?
Turn away it's just there's nothing left here to say
Turn around I know we're lost but soon we'll be found

Let's not fight I'm tired can't we just sleep tonight?
Turn away it's just there's nothing left here to say
Turn around I know we're lost but soon we'll be found, oh

Let's not fight I'm tired can't we just sleep tonight?
Turn away it's just there's nothing left here to say
Turn around I know we're lost but soon we'll be found

I know we're lost but soon we'll be found

i  will always love you..

Hello my love!

I did a lot of thinking today.. mostly about my idea of love and what it means to me.. before I met you I've always had this extravagant idea of what love was like.. I had so many scenarios ready to be played out when I met the one to make me feel this picture perfect idea of love.. I thought I knew how to be the perfect girl to match the perfect boy.. I was positive I knew what the perfect kiss would be like.. I believed two people were absolutely destined to be together when they met.. I honestly thought I knew exactly what it took to be in a serious relationship.. Robert when I was seventeen I had so much confidence that my communication skills were perfect.. Then I met you.. I was soo wrong.. I never never been so wrong in my entire life.. you made me realize my idea of love was complete bullshit.. You exceeded all expectations I ever imagined.. for the past few hours I have been stuck... looking through old texts and pictures.. I can honestly say you have changed my life for the better.. I thought I knew it all.. and I had a hard reality check when you moved away.. no one can ever come between you and I.. There are things only we understand.. and are able to articulate.. Long distance is extremely difficult and challenges even the strongest part of all relationships.. Robert the love I only imagined to be true was an imaginary love that had no depth.. what I have with you is something not even the most romantic novels can explain.. what we have is special.. extraordinary.. You are a man that women only dream of in books.. I fortunately get to call you.. The love of my life.. What I had imagined to be true.. seems like a mediocre version of the fairytale I call my life.. I boast about the man I found.. The idea most girls my age have of love is nothing compared to what we have together.. I can honestly say I am blessed.. Just because you are in my life.. Robert Mathias actually loves me.. He looks at me with love in his eyes.. I will be forever grateful.. I only wish you knew.. 

Come on skinny love just last the year
Pour a little salt we were never here
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer

I tell my love to wreck it all
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Right in the moment this order's tall

I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
In the morning I'll be with you
But it will be a different kind
'Cause I'll be holding all the tickets
And you'll be owning all the fines

Come on skinny love what happened here
Suckle on the hope in lite brassiere
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Sullen load is full, so slow on the split

I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
Now all your love is wasted?
Then who the hell was I?
Now I'm breaking at the bridges
And at the end of all your lines

Who will love you?
Who will fight?
Who will fall far behind?

Come on skinny love
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my

I promise to always love you 

Hello my love!

It has been a very long time since I've done this.. I honestly wanted to surprise you with this.. It isn't easy being away from you.. after a long summer filled with your presence I couldn't stop the feeling of being lonely taking over me.. I was trying to come up with a new way to show my never ending love for you..I can't be next to you.. so I promise for every night that I am not by your side.. I will send you a letter to read before you rest your head.. i started this the first year you were away from me.. now I want to make sure this last year we are apart I will dedicate each night to you.. I tried coming up with a cute little saying.. a letter a day keeps the doubt away.. but for some reason I hurt my own feelings by using the word "doubt" all jokes aside.. I wanted to do something simple.. spending every night making sure you feel special.. with all my love written out to you.. I know we are complicated and this distance keeps getting to us.. it is your first day back.. I am not ready to be away and worried about you.. I love you so damn much.. Robert you are my first priority from the start or the day to the last hour i am awake.. and I promise to continuously express that to you.. Maybe it is hard to believe now but.. you once said it important to act as husband and wife.. and i will do that.. for the rest of my life.. I love you Robert 

Wise men say
Only fools rush in
But I can't help falling in love with you
Shall I stay?
Would it be a sin
If I can't help falling in love with you?

Like a river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling, so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand,
Take my whole life, too
For I can't help falling in love with you

Like a river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling, so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand,
Take my whole life, too
For I can't help falling in love with you
For I can't help falling in love with you

I promise to always love you